Friday, October 24, 2008

And now that we are done with the serious news.. over to the weather

The weather is important, people. Not just to farmers who produce the food that sustains us. The weather is our conversation hero. It rescues us from awkward moments of silence that threaten to last till eternity. It doesn't matter if the people talking are in the same place, face to face [though does that even happen these days?] or on the phone or on chat in antipodal points. When there's nothing left to say and you still have minutes left on that calling card. When its a business meeting and there's waiting to be done for other people. When people are on their first date. When people are talking for the first time after their break up. When you bump into estranged friends and after the customary Oh! how have you beens and the What have you been up tos. When you're on the bus/train/plane with no network to be able to pour your heart out to people you really know*, you can always turn to the person beside you and say, "hot/cold/wet, isnt it?"
[sweet sound of conversation playing]
Iiiiiits Captain Weather to the rescue.

*Also, when you really want to update your blog and cant think of what to write. Its hot enough to make you glad if you are stuck in an air conditioned office for a good part of the day, isn't it?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Ten things I learnt at Work.

So Huzaifa over at axshuzaifa.blogspot.com came up with a list of Ten Things You Would Not Have Learnt If You Didn’t Attend Graduate School
After the invariable stabbing of envy over someone having completed their Masters' passed and I moved on to the self-pity stage of having nothing much to show for my 2 years' of work experience except loss of hair, increase in blood pressure and body fat, I decided I'm going to make a list myself.


1) The power of cc : Time in which the work gets done by the recipient is in inverse proportion to the designation of the person in cc.
CC also leave a beautiful trail. Of course, people kept in cc may not really read the mails. In such cases, the words "I had kept you in cc" effect a magical response of getting the person in cc onto your side, perhaps, due to guilt of not reading your mail.

2) Alt+Tab, is the magical key combination for all employees doing what they are not paid to do. But its no use pressing alt+tab when you hear the boss' footsteps and (s)he is 2 feet from you. Depending on the angle of your monitor, your boss has probably seen what you were doing from about 10 feet away. So doing alt+tab at the last minute not only makes you a truant employee but a foolishly dishonest one.

3) Despite the fact that *every* one seems to be doing or has done or wants to do an MBA, its still hard to find a good boss.

4) People who work less but talk more than you will get a better appraisal [See Point 3]

5) Do not check work mail over the weekends or on vacation. Of course, some people think that if you check your mail and find that the mistake you made on Friday has disappeared without a trace you will have a worry-free weekend. But, chances are that you will have a host of angry emails and these emails are better read when one is fortified by a good weekend.

6) Remember those people in college who suck up to the teachers to get better marks during internal assessment. Those guys turn pro in Office [Coz not there's money involved!] They can hijack your work to take credit, snitch on you.. Oh, there's not much that's beneath them.

7) At work, friends must be made with as much care and caution as one who treads barefoot in a cage of scorpions. You might ask, why would one need to walk in a cage of scorpions? And I would retort, in all my wisdom, "Why does one need to make friends in office?" [See Point 6]


8) There will also be people who will help you if you ask. They will sit down with you for hours trying to solve your problem and not once look at their watch or mutter under their breath about having to do their own own work. They will help you without making you feel stupid and return your effusive thanks with a quiet smile and maybe a "Nothing at all". Its an honour to know these people.

9) Everything looks better or more official if it has bullet points and/or is in a Spreadsheet.

10) Expenditure on tissues goes down drastically when you work. I know of people who have a cold go to the washroom on Friday evening and suff their bag with a supply of tissue that will last them the weekend. Ok, ok I do that!