The year that was

Oh 2009, the best and the worst year of my life so far. I'm not sorry to see you go. This year I got to meet my nephew for the very first time and that makes everything else (the good and the bad) pale in comparison.
Rudyard Kipling opined that "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two Impostors just the same" was one of the qualifying conditions to be a Man (or Woman in my case) I do believe I have met at least that one condition: I have dealt with the triumphs and disasters of 2009 alike - both with chocolates and ice cream. And so I guess I am on the road ( or maybe one of the unidentified number of roads that Dylan believes, that a man must walk down) to be called a Man (or Woman)
Whether I'm ready or not, here comes 2010.
Well.
[does the cool Neo flick of the wrist gesture that expresses, in an infinitely more elegant and succinct manner, "Bring it on"]

SE's lament

What is this life if full of care
All we do is type and stare?

We sit, all day, mesmerized by a CRT
Unless the firm joined the LCD party

We see in fluorescent light
Whether its day or night.

We breathe recycled air
Sit all day in a chair

Back breaking work without the sweat
Finding answers by surfing the net

Brown water that makes mockery
of glorious tea and coffee

Waist high cubicle wall
That really reveals all.

And just when we decide we've had enough
salary day comes with cash to buy stuff.

How this idiot narrowly escaped watching 3 idiots 3 times in 1 week -or- No, this is not a review of 3 Idiots

Till a week ago, the only movie I'd seen twice in a cinema was Dilwale Dulhaniya le jayege. Then came 3 Idiots and usurped that pride of place.
Last week, the buzz around 3 Idiots was good ( that's what a marketing budget bigger than the actual production cost, or so I've heard, will do for you) and it turned out to be playing at a theater very close to us. So we went for 3 Idiots. Watched the movie, laughed a lot, cringed a little, agreed with quite a bit. There was comedy, romance, drama, even a little bit of action and mystery and a Message. All in all, a great time was had.
Then a week later, another group of mates decide to go for the movie. My roomie wants to go again and I love the movies so I figure I can get to the theater and catch another movie maybe Sherlock Holmes, "Its complicated" or heck even "The Princess and the frog." Alas, the timings kind of clashed and so I settled down to watch the movie a second time in the theater. The jokes seemed a little less funny. But then behind us was this girl with an awesome laugh that brought up the entertainment factor. My laughs followed her squeals and screeches of delight more faithfully than echoes. Thus it was that I saw the movie a second time and a decent time was had.
Come new year's eve. We are invited to watch a movie which was suppposed to be "P.S. - I love you" We reached the theater and guess which movie's playing. Go on. I settled down to sleep. When my roommate, the kind soul, informed me of a nearby library, I grabbed my coat and bag and fled. I do believe I would have started hating the movie if i had spent another 1 hour in that movie hall. And then I'd be hated by all the 3 Idiots fanatics.

Mad scramble to fulfill last year's resolutions

I don't really know how to use spreadsheets. I just use them to store values that I manually feed. Sometimes I might venture a "sum" or "if" but that's about it. Which is a shame because I see people use spreadsheets to do so many things. They truly harness the power of spreadsheets in their daily work. They also make all sorts of wonderful graphs and charts. And who doesn't like colorful drawings, ahem, diagrams? So I decided I'm going to learn me some graphs in excel. After fiddling around a bit and looking for data worthy of being represented by my very first graph, this is what I came up with:



While its a nice looking graph - its got symmetry going for it but the numbers that they tell are shocking, simply shocking. I've been slacking off in the blogging department. To rectify this, I've decided to try and up my previous high of 11 (back in 2008) this year. So I have 8 1/2 hours to complete 5 posts. But don't worry, unrealistic commitments is my forte and the pressure wont affect the quality *at all*. In subsequent posts, we could discuss such controversial questions as "How much chocolate is too much chocolate?" and the followup "Is there such a thing as too much chocolate?" And there is always the question that has haunted philosophers and which, truth be told, has become the 'summer of 69' of questions, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Vacation

I had taken a break, a leave of absence, a sabbatical, a hiatus if you will. [ You have to pardon all these synonymns. I'm out of practice and I cant figure out which word fits.] Anyway, it wasn't an ordinary vacation. I didn't go anywhere special where I could take pictures of landmarks.
No, I turned up to office every weekday (and one weekend), I worked and I ate like it was normal. But I stopped thinking. I ate and watched junk. I tried reading a good book but gave up after a few pages. I tried solving crosswords. Tried Klueless 5 and gave up at level 18 because it was becoming too taxing. I ate more junk food. On my Netflix instant queue, I have amazing movies lined up. [No, this isn't a plug]. Movies that I could watch, literally, at the click of a button. Instead, I've watched addictive serials and movies that are uttelry meaningless. I'm too ashamed to list them. I'm not one of those people who watches Discovery channel or National geographic. Far from it. Though I'm a T.V. addict, I've always maintained some standards. And the stuff that Ive been doing lately is rubbish. It's just to while away the time. When I really should be thinking and making plans and doing things. I've been suffering from Well-if-the-Deer-closes-its-eyes-maybe-the-oncoming-headlights-will-disappear. But they wont. And there will be a sickening thud.
Its time to come back because I dont know how much time I have left (well, no one does). Ira and Abby better not be the last movie I ever watch and I should not compete with my one-year old nephew for the Chubbiest Cheeks in the family.

Exercise for the mind and exercise for the body, here I come. Just after I finish this bag of chips.

Cooking

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Cooking is a lot like that too. Especially for beginners. DO NOT think about the picture in the recipe book or package while cooking.
Think about the day in the office, that Simpsons episode, make your wishlist, convert 30 degree centigrate to fahrenheit, make weekend plans, trace your family tree.

Somewhere between calculating the value of PI to the 5th place, coming up with a fitting reply to that colleague's remark and cursing the person who jerked the hand that held the open garam masala packet, somehow
the food becomes, oh, not like the picture in the recipe[it *never* becomes like that. Those are air brushed] but something quite edible.

Choices

Chocolate or Vanilla. Arts or Science. Bus or cab. Regular or Diet. Free Will or Destiny. Organic or artificial. Attend or bunk. Evolution or Creationism. Some are easy. Some are obvious. Some determine the next few minutes. Some, that you can look back and know that those were the choices that made all the difference. Some that freak you out before. Some that will haunt you long after decision time.
Of course, as people point out sagely, its not all black or white. There's a massive grey area. But, sometimes, choosing the middle road only takes you so far.

Of course, this has all been done before and, as a small comfort in times of conflict, we get to use the Bard's most popular (and easiest to remember) quotes "To be or not to be, that is the question"

Book review - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

It's good. Really good.

Well, everyone else is doing it

Call it what you want. The me-too complex, the herd mentality [this is as much as I knew. The terms that follow are courtesy wikipedia], GroupThink, Collective consciousness, Flocking, Conformism (!). It got me to and through engineering and now a return to blogging.

Gotcha back

All these years,it's been supporting me. Facilitating all sorts of crazy moves and couch potato-ness. The Enabler, if you will. Then it gave out. And it hurts so much. I will never take it for granted again. I speak, of course, of my back [see corny title and go "aaaaah"] I've tried the balms which are an exericse in masochism. I'm doing exercises. Count 1..2..threeeeee oh holy crap that hurts. Repeat for other side. I've had garlic in coconut oil massaged into my back. Years of parental nagging has not been able to acheive what a few days of pain has : a great posture. I sit ramrod straight, shoulders back. Alas, this means no more reading of "The Best of P.G. Wodehouse" and chuckling to myself in the bus. All for a good cause. Wait, I have the radio series of Hitchhiker's Guide that I can transfer to the phone. No threat to the laughing like a crazy person, after all. Phew!
I also use a cushion. I will wrap the big belt with welcro during the bus journeys. Both the belt and the corset cut off blood circulation. However, unlike the corset which is supposed to give one an hour glass figure, the belt makes one a rectangle.
Like if you see a 6 year old's drawing of humans, if the person consists of a pail on top of an inverted pail, that person has a corset on. If the person look like a rectangle, they have the back belt on.
I dont sleep on my side anymore. After a nap, I dont get up like they do in movies and songs -- getting up immediately to the sound of birds chirping or the sunlight falling on the perfectly made up face of the actress. I roll over to the side and use my arm to support my weight. Not dramatic at all, I know. I no longer take my customary if-you-take-long-strides-people-will-think-you know-where-you-are-going. I take small steps, baby steps,even.

I don't know which one of these is actually responsible for reducing the pain or if its a combination of all of the above. I'm not going to conduct control experiments on myself. You're welcome to try. Do let me know the results.

I wanted to segue into a piece on Women's Day. I cant figure out how, though. I guess I'll cheat and use the abrupt "Anyway".

Anyway, Happy Women's Day! Thanks to the women and men who teach children/people around them that Women are no less than Men in any way. Other than in boorishness, perhaps.

"There is a season"

It's that time of the year. Its time to scrounge around to put together the one lakh investment for 80 C tax exemption. This year, in a bid to save my salary from getting chopped off by TDS I invested in tax saving mutual funds back in May. Ha! Considering the lack of dividends and the dizzying fall of its NAV I would have been better off with the tax being cut and the lesser salary accruing the savings account interest. Oh well. Hindsight and 20/20 and all that. Anyway, I still have some to invest and was researching on NABARD bonds and came across this link [ Of wives, girlfriends and home loans ]which I read only because of its catchy title. Hey, home loan rates are not all that exciting and a title suggesting scandal is exactly what would entice reluctant [and gossip hungry] readers like me. So the article talks about how existing home loan customers get screwed over while banks reduce rates to lure new customers. The columnist exhorts the "wives" [existing customers] to not sit around and mope but to make demands. If the banks call their bluff so be it.. actually move to the next bank offering a better deal. This reminds me of when the magazine [I'd mention its name but honestly I've forgotten it] we subscribed to had an ad which said they would gift a book on India to new subscribers. Dad called them up and asked them for our copy. "They" explained that it was only for new customers. Dad argued. Then he argued some more about how we were customers for 'N' years and how they should not take us for granted. It took a bunch of calls but finally that book on India was delivered home.
The point is, Stand up!
Of course, in these times, it may be slightly hard to stand up at the workplace, with the Sword of "The Current Market Scenario" hanging over one's head. Maybe there is a time to stand up and be heard and a time to sit quietly and wait for an opportune time. Or maybe that's a coward's rationalization.

The acronyms used above as far as my memory and imagination go:
TDS : Tax Deducted at Source
NAV : Net Asset Value
NABARD : National Bank for Agricultural and Rural Development