Stopping by the fridge on a hungry evening

We know and love Robert Frost's Stopping by woods on a lonely evening with its inspirational lines about pausing to smell the roses but not stopping and setting up camp and forgetting all about the original goal.

With apologies to the purists, here's my version :-

Whose thighs these are i think i know
Her heart is in the right place though.
She wont mind me stopping here
To watch the scale numbers grow.

My little pant must think it queer
To no longer fit without a tear.
Between the ice cream and cake
The heaviest gain of the year

It gives the button and zip a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the strain
Of a heavy gut intake.

The foods are lovely and deep fried
But I have a diet to keep
And pounds to go before i unhide.
And pounds to go before i unhide.



Update:
Alternate (new and improved) ending as suggested by Anonymous :-
The foods are lovely, my will is weak
But I have a diet to keep
And pounds to lose before i'm sleek
And pounds to lose before i'm sleek